to the end

very emo 2day...found out something...something important...even i duno hw to handle it...she avoided me ytd...realy sad...m i being annoying? a disturbance o nuisance? i duno...its juz dat...i cant accept it...had to work at 9.30am 2day...realy tired...n no mood...was showing my black face to all customers...n worst till...din eat anytg at all...trying to kill myself wif hunger...lame...a person can oni die of hunger 4 days...hw could i die...my frens keep consult me after the break up...i tried to pretend strong...they asked me go sing K ytd...went...sang quite a lot of songs...bt in the end...cried infront of them...holding the hp n cried...uncontrolably...its been 1 day since she doesnt text me...stil rmb those days...we use to text each other everyday...bt...it doesnt seem to happen now...been thinking...she realy doesnt have the feelings ardy? our old memories? encounters? i duno...juz felt dat...everytime i come bk here...tend to look into her post...which makes me drop tears everytime i read...i wanted to control...n respect her...bt i juz cant...thinking about dat she is no longer wif me...it juz pushes my tears...i duno wad she is thinking now...perhaps i will never noe...bt...if i ever have a chance to confront her...i will get it even if it takes me to do anytg...coz im clear...she is my everything...all i noe is...if she stil reads my blogs...she stil have the feeling...if she don...then perhaps...