juz for U to read

yestersay was realy a hard day for me...she said she wan to break up wif me...she say she has no feel to me...it hurts...it realy does...i juz cant accept it...we have been tru so much...i tot we can make it till the end...bt...god doesnt seem to place us dat way...my heart hurts...i duno wad to do...i realy tot of killing myself at dat moment...taking a knife n cutting my atteries...let the blood flow til morning...done...bt i lack the bravery to do so...its juz i cant accept it...she say she has no feel towards me...bt the day b4 she went bk to genting...she hug me n cry...dat feeling was so real...bt now...she say everything is over...it can never be over...she want me to release her...bt...u think it will be so simple? its not...its not we have juz known each other 2day n forget 2mr...we have been 2gt for 10 months...but...y does it have to go dis way...i began to think...no feel to me? can it be? i dun think so...izzit becoz of other reason? izzit becoz she wans to work permanent at genting...n thus she will have less time coming home...she doesnt wan me to suffer? so she decided to let the pain be short rather than a long 1? dear...i realy dowan to lose u...u noe hw much i love u...i realy do...u r not willing to accept my calls...dat makes me more painful...at least u can let me talk to u...or letting me noe the actual happenings...i tot of calling ur mum n asked about u...bt i sked u will dislike...so i din do so...im realy crumbling...u wan me to let u go...bt who will let me go? can the feel juz be gone juz like dat? u once said...we can be forever...u wont leave me...bt...at least i juz wish dat we have time to cooldown...n decide this wen u return to ipoh...at least u can give me a chance to get back the relationship...although the chances r low...if u realy insist on leaving me...at least u can give me an official break up...talk to me face to face...pull the trigger infront of me...n let me die...or at least u can juz tell to me in hp call...i duno wen u will read dis...bt...i juz wish wen u read dis...its not too late...becoz i will regret...losing u...my most loved one...