4th day

settle jor the accident...bt still not feel well...a fren...aiiz...cant do anytg more...have done my best...realy dowan to get into these matters anymore...she replied my msg...haha...kinda happy...although the content was not sumtg to be happy about...she agreed to return the ring...bt duno how...aiiz...look bk the msgs she sent me...sudenly tot of sumtg...although i duno its real o nt...bt i choose to tell myself to believe dat...she broke wif me...its not a bad thing...she can get her freedom...she is happy...maybe she has no feel on me...bt...its not neccesary she has another 1...becoz...she told me...maybe she wil regret breaking wif me...bt...she juz wan to be single for now...which makes me think dat...she is stil single...at least for now...or for a long period to go...although i duno will we have anymore chance of geting back 2gt in the long future...bt i have choose to believe dat after breaking up wif me...she will be more happier compare to the time being wif me...my fren told me...a way to maintain a relationship is to not so bother...bt i told him...u r totaly wrong...i care for our relationship so much...n wen i began to let loose a bit...i end up breaking...its sad though...bt i cant be sad forever...i believe she wudnt wan to c me sad forever...so i told myself...even if i cant have her n i choose to love her within my heart...i need to get back up...she mite stil feel sorry for me...for hurting me...bt if i can get up back fast enuf...it may remove her burden...bt i duno can i do it...2day is better than ytd...realy emo ytd...bt 2day...stil ok...at least wen i receive her msg...i din emo...bt our old memories stil bring me back to our olden days of sweetness...i keep telling myself...if memories r the 1 dat trigger ur depression...make them into sumtg dat activates ur happiness...kinda work...wen i think dat our happy moments r wad we have n not wad we left after breaking up...it does feel better...even i duno whether she stil reads my blog...bt if she does...i hope dat she dont have to keep thinking dat she has done great damage to me...becoz...if u r happy without me...i sud be happy for u...becoz frm the beginning til the end...all i ever wanted was for u to be happy...if u r happy without me...i sudnt be too sad without u...