25th february 2010

2day is an important day for many ppl...its the stpm results release day...of coz its important for my dear as well...she msg me at sharp 12pm...asking me whether have my class finish...i haven...she wan me to help he check the results...awile later...she text me no need to check...i asked y...she said...don ask...=(...at the moment i can guess...she would have found out her results...n it doesnt seem to be very well frm her reaction...begin to worry about her...totaly lost concentration in class...wasnt even paying attention to the lecturer...rush back home after class...she send me her result via sms...she was wondering whether would she be qualified for local u...later then...she told me...she would be going to singapore...as soon as posible...dis strikes me...real hard...bt frm the pass i noe dis could happen...bt juz din expect dat it would hit me dat hard...realy duno wad to do now...if i were to said its ok i understand...perhaps its juz a word to make my dear feel better...i had rather i suffer everything than to let her feel bad...realy down now...duno whether wana attend class n work later o nt...realy nt in the condition...dear...i realy noe y u wanted to head out to singapore...i noe its for ur future...bt pls forgive me...for my crunch of after hearing u said dat...forgive me for being sad n depressed...for it realy hard for me to let u go once again...1st time to genting n now to singapore...couldnt bare the feeling dat my heart is being tear down...its not ur fault...its juz dat im weak...still couldnt accept it...don feel bad wen u c dis post...becoz i noe i don have the courage to tell u dis face to face...i can juz post it out so u will have a chance to noe...promise me...wen u head out to singapore...u muz take good care of urself...i realy duno wad to type anymore...promise me 1 last thing...u will still be mine wen u return...for i will be urs no matter where u r...i realy love u...

tough dilemma

2day is 年初八...everyone will be at home waiting for 12am to 拜天公...except for me...went out wif kenny earlier n enjoyed a few dota games...on the way home...saw a lot of houses wif preparations to celebrate dis once a year chinese event...bt not for me...dis year...im alone in the house...listening to the sounds of fireworks played by those who celebrates the event...suddenly tot bk the past things of mine n my dear...our happy moments...realy miss those days...at the same time...i have decided...i wanted to quit the ING insurance job...dis decision has bothered me for quite some time coz i have too much circumstances to think bout...most importantly...i have to consider a feeling of my one very best fren...bt guess dis time i will have to dissappoint him...i have decided to quit...cant say quit...i have not even properly started...exact saying is...i wanted to stop...its nt hard to go on wif the job...bt...one thing i consider the most is time...im studying now in the morning n working at nite...most of my time will be spend on these...if i were to go on wif the insurance job...i would likely have not much time...even to spend...i noe dat time is very important...n i wanted more time wif my dear...she will juz have a few days holiday bk in ipoh...if i were to cont wif the job...i would definitely have no time to accompany her as i noe...the job eats portion of my time...i dowan dat to happen...i noe i have promise my dear i would work hard for our future...bt looking upon the future...2day...i have started to crumble...for the moment...i juz wana spend most of my time wif my most love one...my dear...although i duno whether she would support my decision...bt anyway...i have decided...im sorry dear...pls forgive my immatureness...for my love on u is too deep...forgive me...im sorry...

worries

2day is a tiring day...work n work...zzz...she told me dat the results r coming out on 25th of feb...which is a few more days...ever since she has been tension...worrying bout the results...though i tried to consult her...bt i guess i don provide much help...i can understand her feelings...bt i have been worrying bout her...the stress of work + the tension of results...to her it will be very deadly...she cant take much stress...although i duno hws her now...bt i can imagine her condition =( it wouldnt be good...it makes me worried...duno hws she doing...aiiz...i wish i can be by her side now...juz can hope dat she's all fine...she couldnt get to check her results...so i will have to check for her on the particular day...2mr still gota work...aiizz...realy feel like stopping everything...n juz accompany her...bt i couldnt...looking at the photos we taken 2gt at genting...it makes me miss her more T__T sometimes things can be use to cure the sick of miss may juz brings the deeper miss in ur heart...where the cure becomes the fatal poison...dear...i noe hw u feel...i have been tru it b4...all i can do now is juz to ask u to relax n calm down...which will provide juz no help at all...im sorry dear...im alwiz nt by ur side wen u need some1 to support u =(...i juz can pray n wish alone here...for ur health n wealth to be fine...dear i MISS YOU !!!

most happy genting trip

well...i tot dis year...im gona spend the cny time a little bit meaningless...bt guess i was wrong...even though my dear went bk to genting...guess wad...im going to genting too hahahaha...went on the 17th =) although i can only get to c her at nite...bt we had a very good belated anniversary nite...one dat i will rmb for my whole life...after dinner wif my family...each group of ourselves head out for own happy moments...my dad n mum head towards the casino...my sister's family head to the playground...me n dear had a little walk around genting...enjoy our sweet moments 2gt...plan to watch movie bt the seats where sold out...so we head bk to the hotel room n had a short rest...then we continue our sweet happy walk in genting...realy enjoyed the time wif her...gave her the present i bought for her...was glad dat she like the present...although i duno whether she noes the true meaning of me giving the present...not juz as a valentine or anniversary or CNY present...the presents itself means important...the receiver is to be the most important person of the presenter...well...she is...to me...haha...we had a lot of fun...went to take sticker pictures...then enjoy some of the games in the playground...realy happy to c her smile n laugh so happily...although im juz there for 1 day...its enuf for me...juz to get to c her n hug her...i juz have to wait 17 more days...the its her holiday...which means i will get to be wif her for dat moment again =D...cant wait till then...dear...take good care of urself...i will wait another 17 days...although 17 days is not a long period to say...bt for me its kinda long enuf...bt i will wait till it comes...dear...i love u will all my heart...

CNY + valentine

dis year is a very special year...its very rare to be able to meet 1st day of CNY n Valentine day on the same day...more like i haven seen it b4...supposed to be a very happy year and day for many ppl...bt i can say not very likely for me...well...say so becoz most of the ppl get to be 2gt wif their most loved one on the particular day...2bad im not...i cant be wif her...its our 1st Valentine and CNY...aizz...sad...hw i wish she is wif me...where we can spend the eve 2gt n have our 1st countdown 2gt...bt dat juz wudnt happen...she's in genting while im at ipoh...though im geting to meet her soon...bt i guess it wudnt feel the same...bt theres ntg i can do bout it...perhaps fate have put us into this position...realy miss her now...wonder wad she's thinking now...i guess it would be calculation n work...hahaha...aiiz...realy wish a miracle could happen...poof she is infront of me...nah...there aint so much miracle...stil have to move on...3 mins more to CNY...n im lonely in the house...never tot dat i wil spend my eve countdown alone in the house...facing my pc n blogging here...dear...do u noe hw much i miss u now? see-ing many ppl spending their day 2gt wif their love one 2day puts my heart to depression...bt i guess dis is a path dat we have to walk...theres nothing much i can complain...bt i juz hope dat...i cant spend dis valentine n CNY wif u...i wish dat the rest of the other valentine n CNY...i can spend all of them wif u...the rest of valentine n CNY in my life...dear i love u <3 pls take good care of urself...alwiz rmb...no matter u r in genting,ipoh or anywhere else...i will be in a region in ur heart <3

greater than usual

2day she told me in the morning...her body is very itchy...i guess perhaps its due to the bed cover or blanket being dirty...had some msgs wif her...she said she wana go c doctor...till around 8am+...felt asleep...woke up around 10am =( she told me the doctor wouldnt give her mc coz she is not sick...wtf...n her mum told her try to work 2day...ever since she told me dat she turn wierd...i duno wad her mum told her in their phone talk...bt i noe it affects her greatly...great dao she is totaly moody...called her around 10am+...1st time she hang up my call wen we r talking...i juz asked her...u dowan rest? she said...u all duno hw i suffer don talk so many la !!! she hang up then...i was shock...dis had never happen...i realise then...she had very unhappy...call bk her...her mood was depressed...perhaps is tired + was her mum told her...aiiz...she said...i wan sleep la...later wan work...don fan me la...my heart was broken...geting the sentence " 不要反烦我" juz hurts me deeply...i replied...i duno wad happen between u n ur mum...i juz noe u r sad now =( im sorry i cant help =( i wish to tell her...dear...juz resign...don care wad others say...i dowan to keep c u suffer like dis...1st there was stress...2nd there were idiotic roomates...3rd unsuitable condition...i cant even get to noe hw u r there T__T
bt i juz lack the bravery to do so...aiiz...im juz too weak...dear...hw i wish i can have u bk here at ipoh...

starry nite

its a starry nite...juz reach home after the monthly TGV staff meeting...supper for 2day was...KFC...so long din had KFC...haha...ate 3 pieces =x...kinda full...upon reaching home...saw my mum's car park at outside...so i decided to re-park the car inside the house...looked at the sky...many many stars...sudenly a memorable scene pop out in my head...it was the scene...wen i was in the car wif my dear the old days...where we had a nite of car roaming around ipoh...dat nite...she kissed me...it was her 1st to me...haha...my dear had been away again for 2 days...her 2 days was hard...kinda worry bout her...bt i couldnt do anytg...head my mum told me ytd...she said "Boy,u wan go genting on the 17th o nt?" i was like...genting? sure !!! i exclaimed...my mum said...haha...ur sis said u would go dis time...coz pui sian is at genting...i was...yeah...i can meet my dear...kinda not use to not having her by my side...although she was juz here last week...bt still i miss her...ppl told me dat meeting up everyday wif ur love one will make ur relationship unwell...bt to me...it was juz the opposite...not see-ing her for 1 day makes me think of her all day...perhaps she is juz too important to me...she told me she wans to come bk...resign frm the job...she was stressful..in my heart...i realy wish she come bk here...return to my side...bt i juz couldnt say it out...i cant be so selfish...juz coz i miss her wana c her everyday...i cant make her come bk...although i noe she is having hard time there...her family have expectations on her...she is juz too scared to dissappoint them...bt sometimes dissappointment exist...there is juz too much of a human can do...well at least u had try ur best...its alrite to give up...lucky my dear tot of so =)...i realy dowan her to suffer...she is unhappy at genting...1 dat working enviroment juz give her too much stress...another is having bad roomates...aiiz...cant help her...if oni i have a good job in hand...able to provide her neccesaries...i can have the bravery to ask her...stop the job...come bk n marry me...marry me n be my laopo...stay wif her n never leave me...bt i juz couldnt now...not for my position and abilities now...bt i would try my best to get into the suitable n appropriate possibilites to give her happiness and necessaries...dear i love u...i will wait for u...even if it takes how long n hw many hardness i have to go tru...i juz wish dat u will be return to me...no matter where u have gone to...my hearts n love will alwiz be urs

miss

my dear left ipoh...again...went bk to genting...realy miss her...although i get to meet her all the 5 days she was in ipoh...bt for me...i think our time 2gt was juz 1 day...maybe it was juz like the old sayings...don c 1 day equals 3 springs...i haven met her for almoz a month...guess hw many springs there were...5 days juz aint enuf for me...bt no choice...dats juz the time she had...saw her cried last nite b4 sleep...realy hurts me...she asked me nt to cry...well guess i did it 2day...din cry...bt still im sad...promise her wont be emo...bt duno whether i can do it o nt...having my soul away from me for too long can drag the emolizer out of me...cant help it...bt will try my best...sry dear...maybe 1 month is too long for me...gave her the ring dis morning...though i din said wad i plan to...bt i hope the ring can tied and kept us 2gt wen we r apart...hw good if she could stay awile longer...bt theres ntg we can do...din get a chance to be wif her for dis year CNY n valentine...which happens to be on the same day...it doesnt comes often or maybe even seldom...guess dis is fate...bt my heart will alwiz be wif her...no matter where she is or where im...its almoz 8 months...juz 10 more days to go...juz wish i can be wif her on our official 1 year anniversary...time realy passes fast...our relationship had reach nearly 8 months...the scene of our old days newly mated is still deep in my head...those happy moments...real happy moments...bt i guess time flies...nw she is working in genting and im staying in ipoh...studying and working...dear...we cant be 2gt dis CNY and valentine...bt i hope on 16th June 2010...we can stay 2gt...though there is time still to reach dat day...not knowing whether where we both will be...dear...gambateh...i believe we both can go tru dis hard days...real hard days...I LOVE YOU JOYCE LYE PUI SIAN <3

time...aiiz

its friday now...aiiz...time realy flies...duno hw to say...its ardy 4 days she came bk...bt to me...it was juz like ytd...duno wad to say...is realy happy moments have to pass so fast? realy no idea...realy wish i could have more time wif her...maybe time could juz turn back or rewind...bt too bad it couldnt...though time passes...bt the feelings never change...although it mite nt be as the same last time...perhaps changes took place...though i duno where and when...maybe departure for almoz 1 month does make difference...realy miss her wen she is out of my sight...especially wen she is bk in ipoh...bt i could be wif her 24 hours...i have class...and she need to have some time for her family as well...as much as i wanted to have all her holiday time...bt i couldnt be so selfish and neither i can give her all my time...bt i realy wish dat i can spend all my time wif her...going doing eating watever she loves to...as long as im beside her...dats enuf...as long as i can felt her presence...she will be leave saturday morning...which means...aiiz...dowana say it...after friday nite...i will have to wait 1 month or more to get to c her again...which says i will have to led another 1 month zombie life? maybe...hahaha...duno...work and class to make my time go on...perhaps to get my clock ticking...saw her realy tired ytd and 2day...her fatigue looks realy hurts me...im suppose to put a smile on her face...bt i failed...her changed lifestyle due to training and work makes her tired becoz she need to accompany me till late nite =( im sorry dear...i realy wan to spend time wif u...i realy miss u...felt dat she had gone mature upon the days in genting...or maybe im juz not moving forward...still being the old chris chong...sometimes wen i c ppl holding hand or being in romance wen i was working...it realy brings out the memories of us...our sweet days...we use to be such sweet couple the old days...maybe im juz being sensitive...

suprise

was tired these few days...wanted to rest more...bt couldnt...bt was happy wen i c my dear...stil rmb dat i nearly drop tears wen i saw her face on the 1st she reach ipoh...duno wad to say...bt felt a bit neglected these few days...maybe not having enuf time to spend wif her gua...duno...took a nap 2day...she was having her time on9 n listening songs...wen i woke up...saw her reading my blog...n tears on her face...rush upon to her...saw her using my towel to wipe tears...im sorry dear...then we had to move out to fetch her family...then i realise i lost my ring...search madly for it...bt din found it...aiiz...i tot...bt nvm...head out to become a driver lol...she asked me bout the ring...i was trying to hide...lol...sry dear...don misunderstand...i bought the ring myself...it was a pair...the other 1 is inside my wallet...was planning to put it onto ur finger on the 6th of dis month...where u will be heading bk to genting...plan to take a little time wen waiting for the van...will put the ring onto her finger...and say...i din get to do dis last month...a bit regret =(...bt now...u leave ipoh last month as my gf...bt 2day...i wan dat to change...i wan u to be my laopo...leave as my 2nd half n return to me next month as my 2nd half as well...