3rd day w/o u

its the 3rd day since we break up...still sad...i tot i could pass tru 2day happily...going to cameron in the morning...was good all the way...bt an accident totaly spoil it...bang my fren's gf car...totaly no mood jor for every1...even me...i spoiled every1 mood...aiiz...began to think dat m i worthless in dis world anymore? try to suicide last nite...bt failed...morning spoil every1 mood for a good trip...damn...maybe i sud juz leave the world for good...making all my frens worry bout me...if i can make a wish...i wish dat i was never brought to dis world...she told me she had another 1 at genting...hurts...was stil thinking not to give up n head for genting to find her...bt i guess...its not neccessary...although i duno its true o nt...if can...i realy wan to c her...bt i don think i will have the chance anymore...still tot i could die last nite...bt coward me don even dare to cut my arteries...juz able to do merely few scracthes on my arm...i tot i could ignore her 2day...bt...juz a small post on fb is enuf to make me remember our old memories...hw i wish i can hug her n cry now...i wonder if she realy is telling me the truth...bt i don deserve the ability to find out...perhaps all i could do...is juz to let it bury deep in my heart...she is coming back at may...duno will she find me o nt...as she says she wana return my debts...duno will she return tru banking, f2f or ask her family to hand to me...no point to think...even i duno she gt listen to my recordings last nite...bt i noe it wun make any differences...aiiz...juz can let time pass...although i cant have her...bt i can love her in my heart...supporting her juz in my heart...not giving her any trouble...