tension day haha

its tuesday...exam T_T...din prepare much though...overslept in the morning =/...bt stil did ok in the exam...dats wad i think lol...mind it...wads done is done...wen to kenny house to grab his own-made so call muffin...bt i oso duno wad it is =x...stay n spend some time...then went over to jusco to do something...head towards infi next...were playing quite good at the 1st n 2nd game...bt during the start of the 3rd game...my dear text me n told me...asking me to take her n her family for dinner...were a bit stunned at 1st...anyway its the 1st time taking dinner wif her family...have to go over chemor to fetch her mom 1st...n the worst case...i duno the road LOL...cant blame a road blind like me =X...bt she were beside me to guide me =)...went sg.siput to have dinner...hand made pan mee lol...so full =x...then went over to her 4th uncle house...her mom wana make a visit...were kinda akward 1st =/...bt ok la manage to live tru it =)...fetch them home around 11pm...were gona have plans wif my frens bt the unpredictable happens...earlier execution of plan lol...my fren finish his work at 11pm rather then 1am =/...were having some time wif my sweetheart dat time...of coz wudnt wan her to leave so i have to turn down my fren n delayed the plan XD...supose to go over 11.30pm...instead i reached 1am XD...haha...were geting shot by them upon my arrival...groundnuts at bullets hahaha...were like small kids...playin throw groundnuts...so fun LOL...had some red wine then while playing poker...kenny vomit after awhile =.=...i was juz having mere headache...then head home after finishing the last gulp of red wine...the headache get worst wen i reached home @.@...drop down to bed then...slepz =P

wish i could be perfect

juz return home after hanging out wif my frens...usualy spot infi...snoker n pc...ntg new haha...injured my hand wen i was playing snoker...accidentaly bang my hand to the table...geez it hurts...bruise...juz played a game in snoker n i let my fren took my spot...wana sms wif my sweetheart xD...kinda feel bad 2day...cant accompany her...although she says go accompany ur frens...she is fine...were owning in the DOTA game...then she text me saying miss me...bt nt like the normal tune...is more in a depressed form...asked her y bt she was reluctant to tell...i din pursue as i dowan to force her...bt more less i felt the culprit is me...well no evidence bt juz instinct...my mood start to turn...were trying to rush my fren back home then i could go n c her...bt seems she doesnt wana c me...wish i could have time for her 2day bt could reject my fren frm going out...i tot i could do well in both situations bt seems i juz could be alwiz perfect...wish dat i could be...bt sometimes the circumstances doesnt let me frm doing so...guess im juz a plain normal human haha...well...guess i have to work harder...n i wish dat my sweetheart will get better soon...juz wan u to noe dat i have alwiz love u <3

im feeling forever =x

work up kinda early this morning...perhaps earlier then normal days...suddenly tot of my assignment...can i make it if i don start 2day? hmm...better start off 2day...so like usual turn on my pc then went n shower...return then surf the net for information n answers...found kinda lot bt felt like not useful...then my dear ask me to go to her house...accompany her take nap LOL...so i went...it was raining cats n dogs during dat time...realy a nice weather to sleep...at 1st i din felt like sleeping...hug her wen she was sleeping...a good feel though wen i hugged her n watched her sleep...kinda comfortable...perhaps too comfortable...fall asleep without notice...woke up around 5pm+...kinda suprise wen i found out dat i fall asleep...bt it doesnt matter...need to go out wif her later at nite anyway...accompany her to accompany her sis-in-law to buy lappy...supose to head out on 7.30pm...bt we arrived 8.00pm+...were kinda feeling bad bt guess wad...her sis-in-law din plan of buying...saying wanted to wait for pc fair...geez...we rush all the way to meet her for nothing...perhaps juz to pass her the lappy money...n her metal container ROFL...then she said wana go to jj...wana buy something bt she din tell me wad...so i pursue asking...she said i am gona laugh if she tells...n end up she told me she need to buy eng idioms revision book...working for her MUET...well its a good thing she is geting on it...juz dat i condemn the book was a bit off quality lol...then my fren text me asking me to yam cha...after some discussion we went on wif the plan...forget to mention she wana show off she noes the road to my fren house...n end up she gone the wrong road LOL bt stil make it to the destination...cant stop laughing wen she marked the wrong house as my fren house ROFL =x...after the gathering...head towards my house...had a little talk in the car...end up i pass her my old time quality proven eng full course revision book LOL hahaha =P...bet she sure choke me wen she c dis =x...she told me she is very happy 2day...i asked y bt she said duno =/...well doesnt matter...all i wan was for her to be happy...im feeling it...i wanted it...i wish hope n pray for it...i wan to be forever wif her...i love u sweetheart muackz <3

a happy day

its tuesday...ntg special actually...she was gona spend her noon at my house...haha...she took a nap in my room...i was supose to sleep as well bt i juz cant...so i watched her wen she sleep...bt she oni slept 30 mins+...then she sat infront my pc...surfing her favourite facebook n play applications...infact kinda happy watch her sleep...the feeling is kinda like undescribable =X...skip dat hahaha...send her home around 8pm...then we went out for night market at 8.30pm+...wasnt expecting to go bt she asked...then i guess y nt...bt dis time her sister came along...well...at 1st i was kinda akward...bt her sister acts frenly =)...basically i am juz accompanying her to accompany her sister walk...her sister bought a pair of sport shoes...deciding to buy dat pair after roaming n bargaining around different stalls haha...well i wudnt mind...i have her beside me =)...after buying dat pair of shoes...my dear said wana drink bubble milk tea...so we head towards a bubble milk stall to get some...ordered 5 cups...2 more cups is for her mum n younger bro...i paid =)...then head bk to fetch his bro bk frm tt...we were a bit late haha =x...i aint the culprit coz i din drive...i was being fetched xD...reached home around 10.30pm...drank my bubble milk tea n enjoyed the piece of tira-cheese cake made by my fren...the taste is good bt the cheese makes me dam full...geez...brrrkkk =X...then she text me saying her mum scold her for the bubble milk teas dat i paid...LOL...i wudnt mind paying actualy =)...surfed facebook later on n saw her post...mood weather report...in love ( her family liked me n accepted me )...lol...realy duno hw to response dat time...was happy to hear dat...anyway she is all dat matter to me =)...dowan n cant imagine my life onwards without her...guess i wil do everything i can to prevent dat frm happening...guess its all for now...gota go sleep haha...

my silly gal ( part 2 ) =P

hmm...juz feel like writing blog...duno y...juz another normal thursday like i wud usualy been tru...morning class...lunch then stalk at home...bt she came over dis noon...saying wana take nap at my house lol haha...of coz i wana c her...who wouldnt wan to c the one they love everyday...of coz i nt realy feel like taking a noon nap...so i sat infront of the pc while she lie on the bed silently...i tot she feel asleep...bt guess wad...she din -.-...infact she throw me my pillow wen i was enjoying my little game of restaurant city LOL...of coz im nt angry...then i jump onto the bed...we gt cuddle on bed =x...infact she din take a nap at all...skip the details of the noon =x...i send her home at 8pm+...my mum was asking her to have dinner here bt her mum cooked in the house...she gota go home n eat =)...infact on the way back to her house she asked me a question...1 dat i don realy noe hw to answer...bt stil i answer it frm my heart...she asked "wad is ur reaction after u proposed to me dat day i din response to u"...i said "of coz i was disappointed n sad n oso worry...sad becoz i tot it din work as i expected n worry of losing a fren...many confessions were made during the question time...anyway forget it =)...doesnt matter anymore...so after i reached home after sending her home...wen to take shower bt the bathroom was occupied =/...so i head bk to my room n sit infront of my pc again...then my mum had a little talk wif me...asking me don do "nonsense"...of coz i aint happy wif dat...nt wif the saying she asked me don do nonsense bt is dat he view on me...i mean come on...im a adult...i noe wad im doing wad im supose to do n wad i sudnt...y does she gota c me in dis way...of coz no matter hw much i don like it i cant say a thing...she was my mum afterall...i might as well accept the lesson n act cool...i told her about dis...she was feeling bad...she says afterall she was the culprit for my mum saying...of coz not dear...my mum was mentioning to me nt u...cant blame her coz she doesnt noe our relationship...she juz found out recently...bt u were taking the responsibility upon urself...silly gal...bt i felt a little happy upon dis too...coz she realy do care for me...n it goes the same for me...felt so touched everytime wen she doesnt go to sleep juz coz she wana accompany me sms...aww dear...of coz im happy wen u wana accompany me...bt u gota rest oso ma...u gt class on the next day...of coz if u don have class the next day i wudnt mind =)...bt cant blame u oso...u were doing it becoz of me...bt juz promise me...take rest wen u felt u need to...there are many things dat u need to do...u need energy...im sad to c u r geting realy tired recently...although i duno wen u wil read dis post...bt i juz hope dat u had enuf rest everyday...i love u my laopo muackzzz <3

its 1 month =)

its 16th july...n guess wads so special about 16th...i couple wif her on the 16th of june...its offcially 1 month 2day...spend the last few hours towards the 12am of 16th hugging her...stil rmb the situation where i was wif her in the car when sudenly her mum came out of the house n saw us...then ask me to go into the house n sit...walao so tension dat time hahaha...juz sat down at her house sofa quietly watching tv...after some time then her mum wen to prepare dinner...she sat beside me n showing me her old results n certificate of studies...wasnt expecting anytg special bt wen i saw her standard 6 leaving certificate wif her photo there...i cant prevent frm laughing =P ( sorry dear )...alrite cant go further on the topic...its her privacy x)...then later at dat day went night market wif her...n guess wad...my family oso went to the same night market...wen she found out she was like OMG...bt nvm she say mebe wun get to meet oso...n guess wad...don speak of the imposible...the next corner we say my aunts...juz like waiting at dat spot to meet me...hw hilarious swt =.="...then my aunts told my mum...n my mum came searching for me LOL...she was tension...so is me @@...then after night market...brought her back to my house...stil rmb her face...shy n tension xP...haha =P...of coz she din stay overnite...after sending her home dat nite...gt attacked by my mum n aunts...saying "wah keep so secret" @@...n gt few shots frm them...receive a few shots frm them then went hiding inside the room xD...avoid them lol...hw evil im =X...haha time pass so fast...its been 1 month since i am 2gt wif her...if some1 were to ask me hw long i wanted it to last...i wud be greedy to say i wanted it til the day i officialy leave this world...guess the rest of my wishes wud b "wish i can be wif her til the day i die...if can forever"...forgive me for being greedy...bt being greedy is the born nature of human...

emotional mess

im back to blogging haha...bt my mood 2day hasnt been stable...it went up n down...at start was tension as i haven prepare anytg for the debate dat is going on...perhaps juz mere preparation...cant help it...guess i wil juz go tru it naturally...n seems i did nt bad for it haha...gt relax a bit...of coz my dear calm me as her support came to me b4 i was debating...during the break...my fren asked for a badminton game 2day...well i tot i din played quite some time...was feeling a bit hand itchy...plus his arrogance made me wana trash him...bt later on...i found out dat my dear was alone in the house...a little worried...bt i dowan to ffk my fren...same time i wish i could accompany her...wad a dilemma...i tink i made my dear sad n moody wen i told her i wanted to go n play...bt my fren aint being a good host...told me he wanted to delay the playing time...my mood turns...if he cudnt make it then at least could tell me a little earlier...then i wud go n accomapny her...n my mood is ruin...decided to tell him i dowan to go...seems my dear is realy tired n moody...or perhaps i think too much...i realy duno...suddenly tot of the quiz back at facebook where she scores excellent in the bf/gf quiz bt she thinks she aint dat good...i felt the same...guess i aint being such a good bf dat i thought i wud...im sorry dear...i said i wana be there wen u need me...bt i am nt...wad a jerk i am...cant even do such simple thing...disappointed of myself...

a reply

dear...i juz read ur blog...u told me dat i wud get hurt after reading it...bt infact...im not =)...bt i duno hw to describe my feelings...a bit funny...a bit suprise...a bit happy...bt definitely nt sad...its like dis...at the early part...it was a bit funny wen u mention wad ur frens were saying...then a bit suprise wen u mention ur thoughts and the same problem dat i tot of b4...n happy wen i noe dat u care so much for me...a little touched nw...keep smiling as im typing...duno y lol...although i am oso afraid of the changes dat may take place...bt my worries decreased...u alwiz tell me u wana c the future...bt at my view...future is nt set...future can change...life is like a story in a book...bt dif is future aint written yet...its up to us on how to write it...its nt decided by others bt the ppl themselves...i stil rmb i told u...i dowan to c the future...i wana make future...coz i believe human sudnt live according to fate...we r able to make changes...it juz takes effort...n im puting lot of effort to make my wanted future...although i duno wad we wil face in the future...bt im sure we can overcome it if we both have the heart n effort...i admit...i realy love u n dowan to lose u...at 1st wen i heard u were going to genting...i was a bit sad n worried...bt after last nite...i know...if its good for u...i wil support ur decision...u said u werent selfish enuf...u duno hw to be selfish...well all i can say is...ppl behave in the way dat they have to due to dif situation n circumstances...i understand ur position..n i wil respect ur decision for everything...i juz wan u to noe...we r in dis 2gt...yes other ppl may have dif view on our relationship...bt we both noe wad we felt on each other...i noe my feelings...n so do u...to me...no matter wad others say n do...i wil stil believe my beliefs...i trust myself...no offence to other parties who is reading the blog...i juz wan u to noe...i realy love u...n there is no lies to dat...i cant force u to put ur trust on me...bt u have my trust on u...no matter wad u do...i wil b there to support u...i wil b the ears to listen wen u need...i wil b the wall for u to lean on wen u need 1...n i wil be whoever wadever wen u needed...as i alwiz say...juz be natural...hope u can get relief after reading dis...all i wanted is juz for u to be happy...i love u dear...i do...

cant tink of a title LOL

here im...back again haha...same thing...went out wif her...same spot again...grkp...then sudenly my fren sms me...asking me whether wana yam cha nt...i asked them to come meet me...bt they were saying so far...dowan lor...aiiz...then my dear propose...y nt we finish here n change spot =)...hw kind of her...then as proposed we changed spot to onestop...well her 1st time meeting my frens...seems there isnt much similar topic she can come into...hope she wasnt too boring wen she is there...sry dear...we din stay for too long as the shop is about to close...after dat we went roaming around places again...as she alwiz likes to...haha...of coz i wont mind...i gt no suggestion of places to go anyway...travel to near klebang area...searching for her fren's house...dat area is kinda creepy...dark surroundings wif trees n those trees look like dead ones...geez...nt to say horror bt doesnt gives a good feel...roamed for awhile n she started to feel a little unpleasant...so we decided to head bk...since nowhere to go...she parked outside my house...bt i din get down...instead had many conversation wif her...topics varies...chat for around 2 hours...get to noe many many things of her...of coz we tease each other like we alwiz like to...n she found out my dead point...tickle~! she loves to tickle me...of coz i hold her hand wen she does dat =P...bt dis time in the car lol...she hugged me n lie her forehead on my shoulder...of coz if feels warm n comfortable =X...then she kissed me on the chick...then i asked her nt kiss me on lips geh meh LOL...n she did then =P...hahaha...feel a bit evil dat time =X...we talk about many things...n now i found the reason dat eliminate my question...i understand she has been going on a hard life...no matter wad i wil suport her decisions...we even discuss many view on dif topics like anger,selfishness,freedom n many more...haha of coz we both express our opinions on dif topics...the understand between us is growing...seems her mum found out our relationship liao =/...i haven tell my family bout it yet bt i guess my mum is suspecting me on dis =x...bt i wil give the decision to reveal to her...afterall i respect her...we both have our own freedom on doing things...haha duno wad else to write...perhaps im too happy LOL...bt pity my dear...2mr gt tt sumore...sure tired for her...dear i support u...gambateh muacks muackx muackz i love u <3

am i stil conscious? haha

its late...n yet im stil blogging hahaha...well perhaps kinda used to write wen i feel a little emo...been going out recently wif her...of coz i am happy wenever iam wif her...cant explain the feeling...maybe becoz dis is all i have been looking for after all those days?i guess dat is the oni answer dat can solve the question...sometimes i do think back my past...bt as there is a saying...past is pass...future is wad u muz be looking at...bt hw many ppl actualy noes wad is happening at future...some ppl dream...some ppl pray...some ppl wish...bt juz hw many ppl can go according as they want their future to be...no specific answer to dat...of coz i had dream pray wish for my very own future...no ppl wan a bad future...neither ppl wan an incomplete future...juz wad is a complete future? a future where everything goes as wad u had plan n hope it is? or a future where u had wad u need n ur soul mate beside u? nobody noes...bt i hope...in my future i have her...well there r no guranty to dat...bt i wudnt wan her to leave my side...neither do i wana dump her away...ahh i duno wad im typing...my heart juz felt so mess up sudenly...recently my fren told me a sumtg about his relationship...he said he lost half of his frens becoz he wana b wif the 1 he love...at dat moment...i tot...dis wun happen to me...i can manage dis matter...time to b wif frens n time to be the 1 u love...yes i can do dis...im sure i can...i am wondering if im being too sensitive sometimes...something small...i can juz over think till something dat is imposible to be...aiiz i hate myself wen i do dat...juz hope dat my own stupid thoughts wont bring harm to any1

a different experience

its been raining almoz for the whole day...n it ruin my pasar malam again~!!!! grrr damn it =.=...3 weeks...n 3 weeks it kept ruin my tuesday...bt 2day...i stil get to go out wif my dear...n she's driving~!! haha...its a suprise she found my house so easily =/...she told me we r going to kopitiam...bt she din mention we r heading to grkp ( gunung rapat kopitiam )...well im kinda used to being the passenger...bt dis time it feels different...geting fetch by a gal n sumore she is my dear haha...bt ok la no comment on her driving x)...sat down at the shop n ordered drinks...of coz i ordered some snacks...had 2 drinks n she kept playing wif the sugar container...adding sugar to my food n drinks =.=...gota hide the sugar thingy frm her next time =P...sat there for like 3 hours...discuss n talk about many things...geting to noe her deeper =)...after enjoying our drinks n conversations...went for a ride...wasnt actualy a ride...more like roaming around without goal...haha...of coz i wana b wif her as long as posible...get to watch her more n felt her presence...roam around for almoz an hour...felt very relax wen im wif her...cant explain hw dat happen...bt nvm...as long as im wif her dats enuf...(づ￣ 3￣)づ a kiss n hug for u <3

i had my 1st crash experience LOL gg

well...i tot of staying home 2day...bt sudenly my dear ask me to accompany her to go jusco =)...well of coz i wudnt reject such a sweet offer =P...a little delay coz i was having problem cutting my fingernails =/...then gota go n pump petrol as the car was nearly emptied =/...so i delayed around 30 mins to get to my dear swt =.="..head to jusco...found a nt so skillful parking spot...well i manage to put the car on spot...bt wif a little error...i crashed the left sided of the car towards the pillar OMG...bang...at 1st i tot i hit the barrier of the car...bt as detail confirmation...i whack the car n scratch it =x...omg my mum sure wil kill me...bt nvm la wad to do...since i have ardy done it...mite as well reach home n get a hell of scolding...so i put the matter off my mind n accompany my dear on a 2 hour tour in jusco xD...almoz walk through everything in jusco...frm market to shops to lobby...finaly sat down on a bench infront the the world of cartoons shop...sat down n rest while chating...a comfortable situation =)...oh ya forget to mention...saw stanley family wen i was roaming...i din notice them til his bro had walk pass me n gave me a sign LOL...paiseh...was living in my little world =P...sure his sis gona brag on me if i ever c her lol...a playful yet naughty gal haha...as i was in my little world...time of the actual world passes fast...its almoz 5.30pm...time to say goodbye T.T....gota send her home n return the car to my mum...aiiz...hw good if i had my car hahaha...then freedom is totaly mine x)...gota brag my dad for it hahaha...bt chances seems low =X...well who cares...as long as i have her its enough for me...wen we r heading home...its raining...omg pasar malam a~!!! n oso she gota go through rain wen she enter house...hopefully she is fine...heard she has a little cough ><...wanted to ask for my 1st goodbye kiss actualy bt her neighbour is looking directly into my car big glass...jeez =.=...haha nvm lo will get it next time =P...reach home then...confess to my mum of wad happen to her unfortunate car ><...well she didnt scold me juz said "aiya sui zai"...then my sis back me up n said " bang bang then wun bang geh la...nvm la" =P...escaped hahaha...thx sis...love u...of coz i love my dear more =P <3...end of 2day post xD

a suprise

well...juz another normal monday for me...class at 11am n end 1pm...after dat head home n do ntg...stay infront pc n waste my time juz like i did hahaha...well as usual i wud b sms-ing wif my dear =P...where sudenly she said she wana c me n miss me so much...i said i come n c u lo...she was thinking i was plain joking n replied ok...n i arrived the next 5 mins infront of her n gave her a suprise...a realy out of the blues suprise...haha...we chat inside the car...many topics came across...she was hugging her baby pooh...a small n soft 1 haha...perhaps let her torture til dat shape LOL =P...if she c dis then i wil b the 1 to torture xD...no la my dear very good geh =P...don torture me a dear =P...

my silly gal

its friday...a different one...at least the morning is normal...went to college for a class dat i wasnt supose to b at...dam frustrated n paiseh...aiiz...was pissed off by the admin...by gt calm down by my dear hahaha...since i wasnt welcomed in the class...i head home...found out my results had reached home...wasnt expecting anytg good though...bt din though it was dis horrible lol...cgpa less than 2...omg...i was frigthen n dissappointed...yet was again cheered up by my dear =)...gave me motivation to continue on it...i will work harder dear =D...well as for my dear...a normal day which starts with school then tuition...bt 2nite she is having dinner in occasion to celebrate her sis bday =)...she bought her a crystal ball like present...seems she is geting tired recently...waking up early in the morning n driving all day...pity her =(...hw good if i could my energy to her...i don need dat much energy as i juz have to go college in the morning n ntg else...well 2nite is no difference...she is tired...bt stil...she wana accompany me sms...saying she miss me...well i miss her a lot too...i told her to go sleep early...she refuses...she is having exam for tuition 2mr...n she has yet to study for it...i ask her to study bt she says she is tired...so i asked her to go rest bt she says dowan...so i asked y nt...u r tired...n she replied"if sleep i cant sms wif u"...she rather sleep late to accompany me...aww silly gal...i duno whether im supose to b happy n sad...happy in sense she wana accompany me...sad in sense of she is tired...well there is dis question popping out my head...she is going to genting to work at the end of the year...wad will happen between us by then?...bt i tot over it 2nite...i cant be selfish...i realy love her...i gota tink for her future...seems she was a bit frustrated wen we talk bout a heart topic...i said i cant b selfish to own all of ur heart...u have heart for me...bt u gota have heart for studies too...seems she wasnt happy for this phrase...and i comfort her...sometimes the sms i send her was a bit 肉麻...haha...i said...i have own ur most precious thing...i cant b selfish to take ur heart as well...she ask wad u have?...dear...i ardy have ur soul n love with me...its more than i ever wished...n i oni wished for 2 things nw...ur happiness n ur future...no matter wad happens in the coming future...i will b by ur side...i wil b the ear wen u have sumtg to say...i wil b the eye dat watches u...n i wil b the 1 wen u need sum1 the most...dear i love u...i realy love u...

trust is very important...don make it too late to regret

writing dis to remind myself...or perhaps for who is ever reading dis...trust in a relationship is very important...lies sudnt exist between the 2...myself as an example...2nite i did sumtg which i tot could end my relationship...lucky forgiveness is given upon my doing...else i wud regret for my life...perhaps regreting is oso useless as it cud b seen as a serious matter...no matter wif intention or without...lies ought not to b made...im sure i wil rmb 2day...as it gives me a big experience on no matter wad u do...alwiz think deeply...u dowan to regret over stupid things u have done...i was relief wen my mistake was forgiven...promise i wun do it again...no matter wad circumstances...coz i noe if i do it again...chances wun come my way...to whoever reading dis...do bear in mind...u sud nvr make ur other half sad as they put their trust in u for who u r n u sud nvr break the bond..."dear allow to say for the last time...im sorry n i love u"

对不起

多久了没有你的消息 上一封简讯是星期几 又错过了与你的约定 对不起真的不是故意 有时候没办法陪著你 你总是对我说没关系 放不下我对你的任性 对不起不该让你伤心 有时候 你会让让我 儘管我大男人发作 有时候 你会装作不懂 默默地 留一些空间给我 这些事情 其实 我一直都藏在心裡 请你原谅我不懂逗你开心 请你原谅我不懂听你的心 回想这过去 我学著让你更安心 别赌气别任性别放弃 说声对不起 有时候 你会让让我 儘管我大男人发作 有时候 你会装作不懂 默默地 留一些空间给我 这些事情 其实 我一直都藏在心裡 请你原谅我不懂逗你开心 请你原谅我不懂听你的心 回想这过去 我学著让你更安心 别赌气别任性别放弃 请你相信我我会更加珍惜 请你相信我我会呵护著你 小小的爱情 却是我最大的幸运 疼爱的 想念的都是你 请你相信 一个这样的我 请原谅我 对不起 对不起

deep guilty

its juz another normal nite...except an incident make it totaly different for me...well as usual we both wil b sms-ing...she told me she is going to night market wif her sis in law...then i told her "i guess i wil b staying at home n come good boy hahaha"...i guess i din do dat...i was feeling bored at home...well sudenly around 10pm+ my fren ask me whether wana join them yam cha...i reply sure without hesitation...n i told her im going out...well at 1st i tot she wasnt annoyed...bt guess i was wrong...seems she realy care for wad i have said...n i din do wad i said...i think i lost my worthiness...i felt guilty...guess i realy hurt her...as i was feeling guilty...the tv screen of the spot i was at was showing "secret ( bu neng shuo de mi mi )...my emotions were dead...the show were at where jay chou was having piano competition wif yu hao for the lyrics of a piano play...my mind juz pop out a thought...although its juz a movie...jay chou did wad he could to get the lyrics for the 1 he loves...bt wad i did...nt even happiness i deliver i had hurt her...n i was trying to act funny wif my messages...grr wad a idiot...y m i having fear while im typing...perhaps im sumtimes too naive on my thoughts...dear...im realy sorry if i realy hurt u...perhaps sorry is the oni thing i can say nw...

typing pointlessly

well recently much discussion is being done on the topic "love"...questions like wad is love? hw to handle love? hw to maintain a relationship? y does a relationship ends?...these things been around my head...bt i manage to neglect these questions coz i dowan to think bout them...bt i guess i juz cudnt neglect them forever...i have been creating so called answers for these questions in my head...bt guess there arent juz the perfect answers for them...well nt to boast myself...bt i have gt some theorical knowledge on things...bt i guess sumtimes these things aint juz nt too good...the factor distance n understanding is quite the famous ones to occur wen a relationship gone off...bt i guess understanding aint gona b much of a big obstacle for my relationship...although we doesnt noe both very very well...bt the understanding lvl of our very own aint so bad...distance is wad im gona worry bout...although dat isnt taking part nw...bt i realy cant tell bout the future...though i found out the fact dat my dear isnt gona stay in ipoh after she done her stpm...at 1st i tot i can bear wif this so called "future may happen matter"...bt i realy cant get off the question n over thought of myself...i aint gona finish my studies early...stil gt 2 years to go...although time may pass without u even knowing...of coz i wish the best for her...bt i guess even hw good a person is...he/she stil cant overcome the so called "sins" of themselves...n the same goes for me...i guess i juz cant b selfish asking her to stay...bt i juz wish dat if the future matter realy do occur...i wish dat the worst situation doesnt occur...coz i realy do had pray dat myself n her could b forever...bt there are no guranty to dat...anytg may happen without notice...mayb i c her 2day...the next day i involve in an accident n juz poof...disappear frm dis life...i hope dat meantime...i can bring as much happiness to her...coz the indescrible feelings towards her is juz indescrible...i juz hope i aint gona b a part of her sad memories...and another thing...dear if u c dis...pls don get too much affect frm it...