duno hw to describe my feelings

well...2day is a tension day for me...im driving to parade~!!its my 1st time hahaha...i tension till i asked my fren to guide me the way there n back home...silly me...well cant help it...im a road blind T_T...perhaps dats my biggest weak point...bt i guess it will b no problem since my dear will b beside me all the time =)...accompany her for lunch at MCD b4 we head out...after a satisfying lunch...we head towards parade...well guess wad...i din go according to the route i planned...infact a more simpler road dat she guide me =)...although in my heart im feeling a little "face lost" bt its ok wif me since i noe my weakness...silly me hahaha...so love face...bt wad to do...boys nature x)...at MCD she sent me a msg...sumtg regarding the calculation of love using the "bi hua" of ur chinese name...well im totaly a nerd in dat...so i din do the calculation...upon reaching parade...i had my 1st experience of driving up the super tornado road upon the roof top xP...nt pretty hard though...then parked my car then we head down straight to sky max(mebe miss spell the shop name ) n search for presents...found ntg...so we head down to the spot where her sis is working...Gift Box...she bought a crystal ball statue thingy n packed it herself...she was complaining dat y she have to packed it herself n nt her sis do it...i said well doing it urself makes the meaning more deep =)...after done packing we left since she had to fetch her sis-in-law for medical check up...felt strange wen i reach home after i send her home...i felt i miss her more 2day...mebe its becoz of a topic we talk on the way home...she speak on her ex bf...well she said her ex bf mum treat her very good...i gt no comment on dat...she was wif the ex bf for like 1 1/2 years bt broke at last...i asked y...perhaps a stupid question...bt infact she answered...many factors...bt her main was understanding problem...well i gota agree dats a very important factor...i felt i miss her more then usualy wen i reached home...even i cant tell why...was sms-ing wif her as i was typing...she asked for my chinese name...i knew she wanted to calculate the "bi hua"...the answer dat came out wasnt so joyful as i was expecting...n she asked me to take the quiz on the wen wil u have ur date...hers came out as expected bt mine wasnt...nt to mention the results for both quizes...sudenly i felt emotional...i realy take dis relationship seriously...well although i understand those quizes aint true...juz felt dat blessings aint wif us...aiiz...y am i so emotional...another weakness of mine...too emotional...hopes dat my dear wun c dis too fast...else dis may hurt her as well =X...sry dear if dis post worries u...i felt better after writing dis...hahaha...guess dis is wad my god sis tells me...happy n sad at the same time...

sometimes i hate myself

its sunday...so fast =.=...came upon agreement to have steamboat at 2 in 1 infront of tesco extra...at 1st i tot it wil consist of juz me kenny n stanley...bt guess wad...jonathan came along wif us too...of coz i wudnt mind =)...plan to go there at 7pm...bt since kenny is complaining hungry...we set out 30mins earlier to get the participants ready =P...well as usual for steamboat u gota go n grab ur own food n stuff...n guess wad...we grab the beef xD...n we start to devour everything we had on the table...it was quite fun playing wif dat sizzling thingy...except wen the margerine started to attack our hand wen we fried LOL...it hurts T.T...bt we stil manage to get on wif the feast...had around 3 rounds of food...nt very satisfying =(...so we decided to get the ice cream...n guess wad...all of us gt screwed by it...the taste of the ice creams were strange especially the strawberry flavour ( lucky i din eat dat coz i knew it =P )...after settling the bill we head towards infi snooker as always...kenny proposed dat we play on 2 different tables...each 1v1...well dats no problem wif all of us...since kenny wanted to play wif jon...i played wif stan then =)...bt guess wad...i gt pissed off by the so called "table n balls"...oh man wenever i make a shot n watched...the ball was like being push out of the holes n reluctant to enter...nt 1 bt every shot...oh man wad on earth is happening...during half of the 1st game my mood was torn...n i started to act the old way...being emotional n banging the balls...being a totaly unethical player =.=...kinda out of my mind oso...din even noe wad i was texting my dear...kinda made her worried...n i spoiled the mood of every1...dam i hate wen i becomes like dis...so i decided to end the 2nd game n go down n get some fresh air...some personal silence...manage to calm myself in 5 mins...of coz wif the help my dear...she sure noes to cheer me =)...dats y i love her hahaha...she realy do understands me...stil rmb she told me...she may nt b the best gf bt she wana b the most understanding gf for me...bt for me...being understanding is ardy the best for me...boys alwiz said to their loved ones...do u noe u r the best?...n i felt like doing it too...there is something i wish to tell her tru dis post..."dear,there aint so many perfect ppl in dis world...even me u or every1 around us...bt i juz wana say...having u makes my life perfect....i realy dowan to lose u...i wudnt dare to imagine my life without u...i realy don...im sorry if i made u worry or unhappy 2day...im realy sorry...i promise u i wun do it again...i promise to calm myself n nt to make u worry bout me =)...coz im afraid if i cant calm myself...i might do sumtg horible dat hurts u n thus lose u...i realy dowan dat to happen...lastly...i wana tell u...i realy do love u frm my heart...我真的真的真心的爱你...虽然我不能给你最好的生活...但我想我可以给你没有烦恼的日子...我爱你

another wonderful nite

its saturday...well as usual we have nite gathering among us...bt dis time...i brought her along...well at 1st i din decide to do so till stanley ask me if i mind he brings another fren...i asked who...he reveal the person is tracy...at the moment i was a little shocked...bt wen come bk to my senses...i was thinking its nt a big deal...infact if he brings tracy...i can bring my dear...wao a good plan...so i told my dear bout it n guess wad...she was very happy n said im coming...well of coz im happy too...wad else can make me happier bt to meet her...so as the old procedure i went n fetch my dear n arrive at our appointed yam cha spot...medan ipoh kopitiam...right after i parked my car...i saw kenny wif his family juz a few yards frm me...it was shocking at the beginning...bt i act natural n greeted them...at 1st i was afraid my dear wil b bored...bt guess wad...the 1 bored is kenny hahaha...as i neglected him n accompany my dear...was a bit bad come to think of it...sry lo kenny =)...bt brothers don count too much la haha...my dear was complaining hot n started to wind herself using the menu...n i said wind me as well la...well she did...yet she catch my heart again...well after chit chat...my little bro kenny start to make noise...complaining its boring...of coz i wudnt wana leave so early considering who is beside me at dat time =P...lucky stanley was on my side dat time...hahaha we both told him to b patience...n so he did...well supose another group of our frens are going to meet us there if they didnt mess up the medan ipoh kopitiam wif medan gopeng kopitiam =/...we ended our gathering at around 11pm+...so i fetched my dearie home n guess wad...the sicko thing myself n kenny did to stanley happened to myself...kenny tracked me down =.=...was a bit annoyed by dis bt i guess dis is wad i get for wad i done T.T...after sending her home...the 3 of us wif another fren continue wif our nite activities...ntg special though juz playing pc at infinity LOL...bt recently i confirmed 1 thingy...my dear is my source of motivation on watever im doing XD...dear...i wudnt let u leave my side...i love u forever <3

a song to speak for my heart

为什么你 总是闷闷不乐 你知不知道 你是最好的 这首歌 我唱这首歌 就是要给你快乐 世界上只有你独一无二 我为你填上幸福的颜色 这首歌 我唱这首歌 你要专心的听着 说你也一样爱着我 有一个温暖角落 那是我心窝 把你的爱收起来 放进我的口袋 不让你轻易离开 我会永远爱着你 到老还是同一句 因为我珍惜 轻轻地摇着懒椅 戴着老花眼镜 还记得我们这首歌 世界上只有你独一无二 我为你填上幸福的颜色 这首歌 我唱这首歌 你要专心的听着 说你也一样爱着我 有一个温暖角落 那是我心窝 把你的爱收起来 放进我的口袋 不让你轻易离开 我会永远爱着你 到老还是同一句 因为我珍惜 轻轻地摇着懒椅 戴着老花眼镜 还记得我们这首歌 这首歌 说你一样爱着我 说你也一样爱着我 有一个温暖角落 那是我心窝 把你的爱收起来 放进我的口袋 不让你轻易离开 我会永远爱着你 到老还是同一句 因为我珍惜 轻轻地摇着懒椅 戴着老花眼镜 还记得 我们这首歌

perhaps the most happy day of my life? hahaha

juz reach home...duno use wad word to describe my mood nw...went for transformers movie earlier...the movie was awesome...nt to mention the story line bt the 3D grafics were enuf to amazed the fans...alrite skip aside the movies...well as usual i set out to get my dearie for the movie along wif 2 frens in separated cars...amazingly...my frens started off their journey 1st n appears i reached tgv n found myself parking...they were still blindly searching for a spot...me n my dearie have to wait for them as we were holding the tickets...well got in the cinema bit early as usual b4 the movie starts for some trailer...the ice age 3 trailer was nice...mebe will consider watching it =)...well b4 the movie starts...i took her hp n "legally" transfered her pics =P...well i oni transfered 3 pics n guess wad...she transfered more like my whole personal album...gee she is stealing behind me...ok perhaps beside me =P...enjoyed the movie at the begining...then she softly puts her palm on my arm...well of coz i wudnt mind it =D...then later on she puts her softly little head on my shoulder...lying down on me...i was like...awww...i felt it...i felt the 幸福in my grabs...touch her head wif mine =P....well i wanted to put my sweater on her...she is kinda nt cold durable...bt she said she isnt cold...well since then i might juz nt force to put it on her...we enjoyed the movie...there were stunts laughter amazed scenes...bt i felt my dearie is kinda tired during the movie...can c tru her cute face =P...mebe its bcoz of the minor alcohol effect...haha realy duno wad im typing liao...my mind cant tink =/...well her bro is geting married 2mr...gona b a busy day for her perhaps...well dearie...i oni wana say 1 thing...having u is like having happiness...i love u n wudnt wana lose u...although i cant make any promises to u...bt i can say i wud do my best to bring u happiness...I LOVE U DEAR MUACKZ...Chris <3 Joyce

duno wad to say

last nite my mum's fren came n pay us a visit...the 1st thing she says to me wen she saw me was..."wah ah boy u so fat liao"....=.=" i was stunt...speechless...i was going out my room to find supper =P...wad i get was poridge made by my mum earlier...since i was nt so hungry n mouth itchy so i took the poridge...my mum's fren keep mention..."ah boy u realy fat jor...n handsome liao after u growth some flesh =.="...the oni thing i can say is...my appetite good jor coz im happy =)...infact its true...im very happy lately...n the 2nd thing she asked me was..."ah boy gt gf liao ma?" i denied the fact dat i found my dearest....n replied "no la" with a smile...my mood has been good lately...well mebe its becoz i have found the 1 i have been finding so long...the 1 who realy care for...i was silly till ask her to consume more strawberries coz i heard my senior said "a strawberry a day takes ur sorrow away" silly me =X...2day she asked me on my habits such as wad i like...we exchange "info" on dat a little...im a simple person so there isnt much dat i likes n dislikes...bt i thing noe bout her...she loves cute puppets...a cute childlist gal =P...after my dinner i done some revision...of coz while sms-ing wif her =P...she told me she gota concentrate on her revisions for stpm n telling me dat she can barely go out...well i understand dat n i felt its right...studies r more important as her future depends on it...even so...she told me dat we sud go out once a week to meet out...well my respond was sure good la...hw eager i wana meet her bt considering my conditions...there r times dat these cudnt happen T.T...i told her my condition n she understands my difficultness n say...i oso can drive de ma...my heart melted at dat moment...i noe i found the right person...the 1 dat i will give all my love to in dis life...no doubt...the oni words dat pops out in my mind is the chorus of the lolipop song...好像对你说说爱你 好像对你说说想你 这些日子你知不知 我常想念着你 想念着你(change the 年 to 日子 =P)

sudden change of plan bt stil i enjoy it =)

its tuesday~!!!haha...supose to go pasar malam wif my dear 2nite...bt holy it started raining on 7pm...darn it don ruin my pasar malam date =.="...it rained for 40+ mins n stop...i was like thank god i stil can make it..went out to get my dear on 8.30pm+...was glad to c her...hehe...on the way to reach our destination..it started to rain...i was like wth wad r u trying to play god...stop the earlier rain n wait for me to reach my destination n ruin my date...damn it...so she suggested dat head to jusco for a walk...of coz my dear says yes i wudnt say no haha...we wanted to get tickets for movie on thursday oso...so y nt =)...1 thing i don like about jusco is the parking...its hard to find nice parking =.=lll..manage to get a nt so nice parking bt stil it does it job...parked my car xD...then we head towards tgv to get our transformers ticket haha...while i was queue-ing to get tickets...she met her fren's bf...who i appear to noe him as well bt too bad the guy doesnt recognise me =/...bt who cares...nt like i noe him well though haha...fetch our tickets then we walk around jusco aimlessly...going all stores juz to have a look...had long talk wif her...basically our topics is on her frens bt it doesnt realy matter...coz she is beside me...bt i wanted to noe her more hehehe...felt like i was dreaming...few days ago she told me...we don realy noe each other bt our feelings on each other is so strong...kinda strange hor...i gota agree...bt for me...knowing each other is juz part of the progress...the point is i realy noe i like n love her...dats all important...knowing each other can be done...juz time dat concern...going to watch movie wif her dis thursday hahaha...cant wait til the day comes...although its juz 2days away...reach her house around 10pm...there were no1 at house so we sat in the car n chat...although juz mere topics bt im satisfied...realy duno y...i felt comfortable wif her...well mebe its the bond dat we had =)...her family came bk at around 10.30pm...seems they were noticing me wen i drove away...had a clash of eyes wen i was moving the car...bt i don mind coz they have the right to noe who's dating their gal...silly gal asked me if i mind on the matter...y wud i actualy...although i duno will i have the chance to realy sit down wif her family n mebe have a little conversation...bt it doesnt realy concern me...all i care for is her...her feelings at the top priority x)...realy silly gal hehe...bt dear u noe wad...ur sillyness is a cuteness to me =P...hopes u don c dis so early haha...awaits the next date wif u my dear muackz love u<3

a packed day...still i miss my dear

its monday...as usualy class in da morning...after class went for lunch...bt dis week is a bit different...my good fren din have to return to kl so early meanwhile can stay til tuesday morning...so after had lunch...invite him for a snoker at the old same spot ( infinity )...myself n another fren reached the spot on 1.30pm+...waited for my fren for 2 hours bt he yet to arrive...mood is totaly ruin...it gets worse wen he called n said im curently at menglembu...juz finished some of his personal matter =.=lll...well at least he stil rmbs dat he has done sumtg which annoys us n thus decide to treat us for a dinner...came upon agreement n we had out towards pizza hut XD...dat meal cost him rm7x bt he was willing to pay with a smile on his face...we oso found out dat another fren of ours planning to treat us for a bday dinner upon his gf bday...we all came to an agreement dat dat bday dinner will a the most expensive bday dinner dat he will be treating XD...after dinner we went to the old same spot infi bt dis time is playing dota...had a few enjoyable games...bt during the last game...the missing-ness came again...started to miss my dear more n more...guess i cant wait till 2mr comes...i wana meet my dear~!!!

sudden tune of mood =S

its juz another saturday...yet another boring noon...so i went to play snoker with my good fren kenny who juz came bk frm kl yesterday...well nt to boast myself...im kinda good at snoker =x...so call have talent ba...bt its kinda strange...weneven i take up the cue n play...i usualy concentrate...bt for dat short period of time...i lost my mood n skills...even i duno y...i started off playing like i used to play...bt after a few hits...i started commiting silly fouls...its was juz for like 20 mins...wen she din reply my msg coz she was having tuition classes...bt i felt like...i duno hw to describe it...the feeling was horible...it was juz 20 mins...even my fren said wad happen to u...u seem different =/...bt wen i receive the reply of hers...things started to turn 180 degrees =X...been scoring points n doing stunts til my fren said hw can u change so suddenly @@...well i told him the fact dat i was waiting the fact dat i was waiting for my dear to reply despite the fact he tought i was a noob player which i cant tolerate =.=lll...i realy showed him 2day dat i was a player yet a performer...n stated the fact dat motivation frm certain ppl or aspect can realy change the results of the whole thing...bt ended up i was paying the snoker bill coz he treat me yam cha earlier LOL...guess i realy miss my dear dat time =P

nvr been so happy after so long

its juz an ordinary friday start...woke up in da morning...get breakfast then hang out wif frens...juz 2nite im going out wif other frens...of coz 2gt wif my beloved dear...did wad a bf sud did...went over to hse to take her n head towards the destination wif some frens waiting...on the way send msg to the fren telling them we already reach bt instead we juz start the journey meanwhile our frens had reached =/...got condemn for being late...bt it seems i din hear anytg coz im wif her...were trying to hide the fact we r 2gt by nt officialy announcing to them =P bt it seems they ardy knew =.=...sat down n ordered drink then cont on wif our "chui sui"...sat there for like 4 hours n talk about many things...although the topics were nt mainly consist of us both bt im satisfied...i realy felt it nw...there's no doubt...i realy love her...although our relationship doesnt come as easy as it seems to b...sent her home after we dismiss our "reunion"...had a little chit chat in the car on the way sending her home...forget ask for goodbye kiss wen reached her house LOL =P( mention for fun )...on the way bk to my hse kept thinking of her =/ even i cant tell myself y...its juz been awhile...guess no theory can explain dat...well for nw i noe 1 thing...although i cant b sure dat i can keep her forever bt i do wish dat things don change in my life...i had ntg else to wish for nw...except my own transport vehicle =.="...i realy hope dat nobody leaves my life nw...if can till the day i officialy leaves dis world...i promise...even im nt the best u can have...i will make myself the best i can give...i love u my dear joyce lye pui sian <3

up n down then up again down

heart been beating fast as im typing...as i type mind keep thinking about it...thinking whether sud i make my step...for awile i have been helping out others on opinion n consults bt it seems i cant even convince myself on my own things...wad a failure im >.<...i tried to seek opinion frm fren...bt it seems the fren dat i seek help frm is the 1 i mite going to take the actions to...omg wad m i doing...the opinion was go for it...u nvr try u nvr noe...wad if i make my step n things doesnt went as smooth as i was expecting? taking a step to forward a good fren relation towards a couple relation is yet a much courageous step to take...i duno have i the courage...im crumbling

even i duno

life been quite comfortable for the past few months...started my college life n yt stil sticking wif good buddies hang out plans...although hang outs amount has drop down due to work n studies...bt yet life is more less remaining the same...bt recently...some unexpected things came up...things i din realy expect to happen...frens has been telling things dat i duno hw to reply them...more like a scandal of mine wif a fren...=.="...frens told me dat a particular fren had a crush on me -.-lll...though i am nt sure hw true is dat...even im nt sure my feelings or view on dat...been puting myself on a hard situation lately...i have alwiz been a big talker on these situations wif frens...bt wen it realy comes to it...i kinda like went blank...realy duno if i gt the courage to find out the truth or sud the matter juz remain anonymous...realy cant make up my mind...felt my toughness is decreasing...