10th

finaly gt ur confession last nite...gt all my doubts cleared...although some of them r realy hurt...bt...its wad i asked for...becoz i wanted to know the truth...i believe after the confession...she wudnt wan to c me anymore in her life...for i have been perhaps the most hateful guy she has ever met...im sorry...i have hurt u...stil rmb i said i wont force u to do somtg u wunt do...bt i did dis time...u asked me to let go...i tried...bt i couldnt...even if u don love me anymore...even if u love some1 else...i stil love u...i tried to get u bk...bt seems my position is longer the old 1 in ur heart...perhaps u wana erase me in ur heart...everything u said last nite was realy hurt...the most is u said u love some1 else...i realy wana noe who dat is n find some1 to bagged him n throw him under the mountain...i realy would...bt...i noe...if dis were to happen...u wud hate me forever...even though u ardy have hate me...bt i wudnt...coz...i noe...if dis were to happen...u will be very very sad...dats something i realy dowan to c...i once tot dat maybe giving u time to cooldown cud recover our relationship...bt seems i was wrong...i have gone way down to beg u to recover...bt u said no...impossible...from dat moment...i knew...u have no 0.01% love in me...dis realy kills me...for every moment every word every promises we had...its all gone...bt i couldnt blame u...im the 1 to blame...i stil rmb u wanted a bf dat cares for u so much...i wanted to be dat guy...n seem it turn out dat im being annoying n controlling perhaps...which makes u lost the feel in me...n i couldnt even sense it...stupid me...bt its too late now...i have lose u totaly...many ppl wud think...y still fall for a gal like dis? who treats u dis bad even u treat her good? i asked myself...i duno y...i said...its becoz i realy realy love her wif my heart...i give my 120% to love her...bt seem dat 120% juz turn out to be ineffective...silly me stil tot...maybe now she has no feel bk towards me...hw bout i wait for few months...or maybe 1-2 years later...n find her again...maybe we can start all over again...i duno...i keep asking ppl...izzit dat if someone doesnt accept a new one into their heart...the old 1 wudnt be gone? no ppl could answer me...bt i think...perhaps the new one for me will still remain her...i duno...i couldnt think anymore...tony blair said...those who r succesful r those wif open mind n willing to change...i guess i have to do dat...at least it will make her feel better...she tot she is a sinner to me...for hurting me...yes she hurts me...bt to me...she is not a sinner...i am...for i couldnt deliver the happiness to her wif my hands...n i tot...maybe its time for me to set her free...n let her search for her own happiness...eventhough im so reluctant to do it...bt if its dat will make her happy...i will do it...i woudl say...if i being sad alone can be exchange for her happiness...i rather remain forever sad...i noe she wont be reading dis...bt if by any chance she does...i juz wan u to noe...JOYCE LYE PUI SIAN...i stil love u...if someday u were to change ur mind n come bk to me...i would spread my hands n hug u...bt if u were to find another guy dat gives u happiness...i will pray for u...for u found ur happiness...I LOVE U FOREVER JOYCE LYE PUI SIAN !!!