DAY 1

i send her to take van around 30mins + ago...it was realy hard for me...i promised her i wun cry...i din cry infront of her...accompany her til the van fully leave the waiting spot...i tot i could hang over it...bt i couldnt...my tears flood out uncontrolbally as i enter my car...she is leaving my side...though its juz for a temporary of time...bt stil...the feeling is so hard to accept...dis is our 1st small departure...i duno if i could stay normal without her by my side...i noe she wud like me to go on wif life...bt i cant promise her dis becoz i myself duno whether can i do it without her...she is my motivator...my strength...my everything...she cried many times yesterday...which makes my heart realy pain...i tried not to drop tears infront of her...i dowan her to worry bout me...at least not too much...i oso noe she wudnt wan me to worry too much of her...bt i cant...although genting is not a very far place to be frm ipoh...bt stil...im not by her side...i cant watch her and take care of her...neither i can hear her nor see her wen she need me...moreover...i have extra worries to worried for...although we both tot dat nothing's gona change between us...bt for me...frankly im worried...maybe im juz being sensitive...bt recently there r many strangers ( ppl dat i duno ) sms-ing her...well its common to sms...bt i felt extra...i noe dis is bad n idiotic...bt...im realy afraid of losing her...now dat she wil be in genting...a place where im not familiar with...maybe i juz don have confidence in myself...i noe she wil be sad wen she see dis...bt sorry dear...juz cant control my tears now...guess i will stop here...dear...u muz rmb...u muz come back to me...back to me as my laopo my dearest my honey my sweetheart my lover my everything...I LOVE U JOYCE LYE PUI SIAN !!!! NOTHING'S GONA CHANGE MY LOVE !!!!