sometimes i hate myself

its sunday...so fast =.=...came upon agreement to have steamboat at 2 in 1 infront of tesco extra...at 1st i tot it wil consist of juz me kenny n stanley...bt guess wad...jonathan came along wif us too...of coz i wudnt mind =)...plan to go there at 7pm...bt since kenny is complaining hungry...we set out 30mins earlier to get the participants ready =P...well as usual for steamboat u gota go n grab ur own food n stuff...n guess wad...we grab the beef xD...n we start to devour everything we had on the table...it was quite fun playing wif dat sizzling thingy...except wen the margerine started to attack our hand wen we fried LOL...it hurts T.T...bt we stil manage to get on wif the feast...had around 3 rounds of food...nt very satisfying =(...so we decided to get the ice cream...n guess wad...all of us gt screwed by it...the taste of the ice creams were strange especially the strawberry flavour ( lucky i din eat dat coz i knew it =P )...after settling the bill we head towards infi snooker as always...kenny proposed dat we play on 2 different tables...each 1v1...well dats no problem wif all of us...since kenny wanted to play wif jon...i played wif stan then =)...bt guess wad...i gt pissed off by the so called "table n balls"...oh man wenever i make a shot n watched...the ball was like being push out of the holes n reluctant to enter...nt 1 bt every shot...oh man wad on earth is happening...during half of the 1st game my mood was torn...n i started to act the old way...being emotional n banging the balls...being a totaly unethical player =.=...kinda out of my mind oso...din even noe wad i was texting my dear...kinda made her worried...n i spoiled the mood of every1...dam i hate wen i becomes like dis...so i decided to end the 2nd game n go down n get some fresh air...some personal silence...manage to calm myself in 5 mins...of coz wif the help my dear...she sure noes to cheer me =)...dats y i love her hahaha...she realy do understands me...stil rmb she told me...she may nt b the best gf bt she wana b the most understanding gf for me...bt for me...being understanding is ardy the best for me...boys alwiz said to their loved ones...do u noe u r the best?...n i felt like doing it too...there is something i wish to tell her tru dis post..."dear,there aint so many perfect ppl in dis world...even me u or every1 around us...bt i juz wana say...having u makes my life perfect....i realy dowan to lose u...i wudnt dare to imagine my life without u...i realy don...im sorry if i made u worry or unhappy 2day...im realy sorry...i promise u i wun do it again...i promise to calm myself n nt to make u worry bout me =)...coz im afraid if i cant calm myself...i might do sumtg horible dat hurts u n thus lose u...i realy dowan dat to happen...lastly...i wana tell u...i realy do love u frm my heart...我真的真的真心的爱你...虽然我不能给你最好的生活...但我想我可以给你没有烦恼的日子...我爱你