im so scared

its around 2 hours more to the confrontation...every second dat passes by...my heartbeat get more nervous n harder...wad m i gona do later wen i c her? izzit realy the end of everything? no turning bk? is there any chance dat i can recover the situation? i realy duno...my heart hurts as it beat...im realy scared dat we...or i wun have the chance to talk to her anymore...have been thinking...if i apologize and beg for forgiveness...will it change the situation? i realy dowan to lose her...bt i cant be selfish to make her suffer juz to make me happy...if she is realy suffering wen she is wif me...then its better for me...or us to let go...at least she wud be happy...1 sad is much better than both sad...i wud rather dat i suffer all the sadness if she could be happy n free...as i type...the memories between us flash back through my mind...our happy and sad encounters...bt i guess it can juz be call memories...recently im being bothered by my family matters...nw im gona lose her...perhaps dis is all part in my life...inevitable whether i wan it o nt...i realy wish she wun leave me...or perhaps its me leaving her...perhaps i have brought her too much tears...for i have sin thus im being punished...if i cant recover the situation later...at least i hope we can stil be frens...even a fren by juz its name...i dowan to lose her totaly...for she has been a part of my soul...knowing dat losing part of one soul is a painful thing...